Advice I Would Give a Young Man

This is a blog post by Herbert Cooper, the lead pastor of People's Church in Oklahoma City. The first time I read it I was moved by it's profound simplicity. I decided that this was something that I should remember forever and pass on to future generations. So here I am...passing it along.

Advice I Would Give a Young Man
by Herbert Cooper

1. Pursue Jesus with passion!
2. Don't take shortcuts, that's the long way to get to your goal.
3. Pay now so you can play later. If you play now, you'll pay later.
4. Find a mentor and let him speak into your life.
5. Make sure your priorities line up with your schedule. If God is first, family is second and work is third, it should be reflected in your schedule.
6. Whatever you are good at, develop it so you can become great at it. People don't pay for average.
7. Find a woman who is in love with Jesus and marry her. Don't settle!
8. Tithe. Give God the first 10% of your income and watch how he blesses your socks off.
9. Start giving over and above your tithe while you are young. Make this a habit, and it will pay off huge dividends in your life. You can't out-give God.
10. Develop a budget and stick to it. You can't spend more than you make and be financially free and invest heavily in the kingdom of God.
11. Don't follow the crowd, follow the word of God. The word of God will more than likely go against the crowd.
12. It takes years to build a reputation and seconds to lose it. Live a life above reproach.
13. Work Hard. Laziness will not produce success.
14. Make sure you have two or three really close friends who know you and love you for you.
15. Don't burn bridges because you never know when you need to cross one again.
16. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Take time to enjoy this gift called life.
    

The Advantage of Failure

In our society failure in any form is feared. Mediocrity is maligned as being unacceptable. And anonymity is insufferable by those who watch and wait. If you listen to main stream child experts they will tell you that a child's self esteem needs to be nurtured and boosted in order for them to be a productive and contributing member of society. They say that children must be empowered and that their feelings should be protected. As anything, there is some truth to these theories however practical wisdom reveals a very different reality.

Babies are fully self centered. The whole world revolves around their own needs. They give no thought to others and what is best for the people around them. In fact, they need to be selfish because they are 100% needy. As children grow, the maturing process reveals that it is not healthy to be selfish in all circumstances. It is often necessary to put our personal desires on hold or work through a painful process on our own. It is considered a mark of maturity to come to this conclusion and learn to live with it peacefully. Children will learn these realities in various ways. A child will learn patience as they sit quietly in church, they will learn selflessness as they sit on the bench waiting for their turn to play, they will learn self motivation while they watch others succeed as they struggle. It is not automatically bad for a child to fail a test, or sit on the bench, or get in a fight with friends, or just be average at something. These are all natural events in the process of character building. The train leaves the track when adults do not allow children to experience discomfort or suffer consequences for bad choices. In their attempt to protect the self esteem and empower their child, they are unwittingly crippling them with unrealistic expectations.

These painful realities of life are what allows a person to grow strong emotionally. It is a wise parent that will allow their child to struggle through decision making, that will allow them to fall and fail but pick them up and encourage them to try again, that will support them in their time on the bench with as much passion as when they get the opportunity to score the winning goal. The trial of life is how children learn to be strong and productive.

The Importance of Play

I was thinking today of the importance of hands on play in young children, and the academic benefits it represents later in life. There has been a noticeable trend in recent years of children lacking fine motor skills in pre-school and kindergarten classes. These motor skills are necessary in building a foundation for writing and penmanship as well as perseverance and problem solving.

In the not so recent past, children would spend hours playing with toys and dolls each day. These toys were often small and had many points of alignment and articulation that required the student to use cross body motor skills in order to solve a specific problem. It seems overly simple but the very act of dressing a Barbie doll is a significant cognitive challenge for a four year child. As you consider the process, it requires the child to use both hands which stimulates both sides of the brain and literally builds synapses (pathways) between the hemispheres. Reasoning skills are brought into play as they evaluate the alignment, positioning and orientation of the clothing to the body. This is the same reasoning the student uses to evaluate alignment, positioning and orientation of a pencil to a piece of paper. If you have ever dressed a Barbie you also will realize that the clothing at times gets hung up on the fingers of the doll or requires the child to re-articulate the doll in order to slide the clothing into place. This challenges the child to focus on a problem and persevere through the completion of the project. Finally, when the dressing is complete there is a satisfaction of a job well done and the immediate reward of being able to play with a fully dressed doll.

This is just one example of the academic and cognitive value of hands on play. These benefits cannot be accomplished in front of a TV or computer screen. It is the collective wisdom of generations and should be embraced by all parents.

Once a King...

Royalty is a different sort of authority than we are used to in America. In our country our leadership is elected by the people. Their power is limited and temporary and on a regular basis our public leaders subject themselves to the will of the people and their power is only retained by popular vote. The title of King is neither limited nor temporary. A king's power is granted to him by the authority of God and once the blood of royalty flows in your veins it can never be removed.

I like to think of that in regards to being a Bethel Life King. Many people come and go through our school for many reasons. But as far as I am concerned once you are a King, you will always be a King. I see children around town that have left BLS and when I see them I don't think "There goes a kid that used to go to Bethel." Instead I think "There goes a King!". Maybe it is the indelible spiritual imprint our school makes on the children who we serve. Maybe it is the confidence of character we instill or the discernment we inspire but one thing stands true, Kings are different than the common man and the difference is lasting.

Misconceptions of Private School

Since becoming the principal of a private Christian school I have heard many myths and misunderstandings concerning private schools in general. While I realize that many people try to justify making difficult decisions concerning their child's education I feel compelled to address some of the more obvious flawed thinking. Over the next few weeks I will be posting some articles concerning people's misconceptions of private school. My desire is not to attack or condemn. I respect a parents right to make a decision concerning their child's education without guilt. However I would be remiss if I didn't take an opportunity to dispel rumors so the decisions that are made are based on good information.

Misconception #1: "Private schools are filled with rich snobs."

I understand where a misconception such as this comes from because I know of many private schools that have this reputation. However something to remember is that all schools have a degree of cliquishness and exclusivity. After an inevitable adjustment period your child will develop friendships. As a parent, you desire those friendships to be the kind that are positive and will not influence your child in a harmful way. It is my experience at Bethel Life School (BLS) that the overall culture of the student body is one of success and positive choices. Not all students are trustworthy all the time, but the predominate attitude is one of acceptance and accountability. And you can be reassured that if your child experiences something negative it can and will be dealt with in a definitive manner, always reinforcing Godly choices. If you are a Christian trying to raise children who honor God it is important that the school you choose reflect your values.


Misconception #2: "A small school has fewer opportunities for students."

It is my observation that BLS has many more opportunities for students to be involved than any other school I have taught in. We have great competitive sports teams where all students have an opportunity to be involved. Our robotics team starts in fourth grade and offers non athletic opportunities for boys and girls. Our fine arts and music program is emerging with the potential to be one of the strongest in the city. A Clogging (dance) team will be starting during the 2009-2010 school year for boys and girls of any age. Inter mural sports teams of all types for all ages form on a regular basis. We offer the opportunity to take private piano and voice lessons during the school day and we are always looking for ways to expand our extra curricular offerings. In truth, BLS offers far more opportunities for a child than the average school and we do it in a positive Chirst-centered environment.

Misconception #3: "I can't afford it."

This is frequently the most significant obstacle people face when choosing whether of not to send their child to private school. While I understand financial hardships can make this an impossible roadblock it is important to remember that you get what you pay for. There is no such thing as a moral/value free environment. In a public school your child will be immersed in a secular environment that concertedly excludes Godly morality. In the best case your child will be placed in the classroom of a Christian teacher that can temper some of the humanistic influences your child will be exposed to. In the worst case, your child will spend seven hours each day being indoctrinated with morals and values that are nothing like your own. It is my position that an environment based on Godly, Christ-centered values is an investment in the emotional and spiritual development of your child. Our children are our greatest asset and as parents it is our duty to invest in them accordingly.

Make sure to check out my next post when I address the misconceptions of:

"The only benefit to private school is religious training."
"My middle school child would be better off getting established in a public school before high school"
"Teachers aren't as capable in private schools."

Could Vouchers Work?

Author's Note: This post is an excerpt of a college paper that I wrote in 2006 to support the idea of school vouchers. It is important to remember that I was still a public school teacher at the time of writing this paper. This opinion is not based on what would benefit me personally, rather it is a reflection of my philosophical belief that all children deserve to be educated in the least restrictive environment of their choice. I believe for there to be any true growth in our educational system, systemic changes must be adopted in order to bring competition into the educational landscape. With that in mind please enjoy my proposal for educational vouchers in Kansas.

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Reflective Thinking Report (Week 3)
Foundations of Educational Administration- Summer 1
Jason Soule
Wednesday, June 21, 2006

In 1983, President Reagan commissioned an examination of America’s public schools. The report that was produced was called “a Nation At Risk” and opened many people’s eyes to the ineffectiveness of our public education system. In the twenty years hence, the issue of education has been an anvil of idealism for local, state and federal politicians nationwide. But in spite of the posturing and promises and in spite of applying the Band-Aid of budgetary increases, the system has made little upward movement. The truth is that true reform in education is weighed down by the lack of priority. Educators understand the need for changes but resist them at the same time.
If you were to take the time to ask one hundred people on the street what is necessary to fix public education, it is likely that you would get one hundred different answers. So with this diversity in mind, I would like to offer my suggestion for reforming local education.
I believe that the God given responsibility for raising and educating a child is placed on the family of that child. In many cases, however, education is delegated to public schools. In and of itself, that is not a bad thing, but unfortunately many parents have the idea that their accountability for the education of that child ends when they drop him or her off at the flagpole. Others that take an interest or an active roll in the education of their child are deemed within the education profession as intrusive or meddlesome.
It is my opinion that we as a society need to give the power of education back to the family. Allowing parents to choose the ideal educational atmosphere for their children can do this. In our current system, educational choice is reserved for the upper middle class and wealthy members of society. Many low to middle class parents do not have educational options available to them because of economic reasons. This circumstance leaves no options for families that do not feel the local public school is adequately meeting the needs of their child. I believe that there is a way to offer school choice through vouchers without endangering public education. At the same time, the increase of competition will give public educators a personal reason to adopt true educational reform.
For the 2005-2006 school year, the state allocated $4257 as the base state aid per pupil. Enrollment in public schools in 2004-2005 was 466,037 students. The number of students enrolled in non-public (private and home) schools in the same time period was 30,742 students. These students amount to 6.6% of the enrolled students in Kansas. It is my proposition that each family should be offered a $2000 voucher that can be used toward payment of the school of their choice. This would allow families from all socioeconomic backgrounds to choose the education that best meets their own needs.
Many would argue that a system like this would severely endanger the funding of public education, but I disagree. My plan also includes raising the base state aid per pupil to $4600 in public schools. This increase would help to offset the loss of pupils. One scenario would look like this assuming that the number of non public school students would immediately double.

Public Schools (Pre Voucher)
Base State Aid Per Pupil (pre voucher)
$4257

Number of Pupils (pre voucher)
466,000

Total
$1.98 billion

Public Schools (Post Voucher)
Base State Aid Per Pupil (post voucher)
$4600 (9.25% increase)

Number of Pupils (post voucher)
404,000 (13% decrease)

Total
$1.86 billion (6% decrease)

Non-Public Schools
Base State Aid Per Pupil (post voucher)
$2000

Number of Pupils (post voucher)
62,000

Total
$124 million

Another aspect to consider is that in Wichita, only 55% of public education monies come from state sources. When averaged out, this would amount in 3.3% budget drop while serving 13% fewer students state wide. The monies per student would increase by just under 10%.
I understand that change can be hard to accept for many people. But true reform has been put off long enough. It is time to take significant action to reform education and give equitable opportunities to everyone regardless of social status. This is a system that will offer choices to the ones that are truly accountable for children and strengthen education for the benefit of all students.

Trustworthy Education

In today's educational landscape it is difficult to measure the overall impact a school may have on your child, whether it be positive or negative. My own mom, upon hearing stories recounted from my childhood, often responds by saying "Oh, I wish I would have known that." A child is molded by their surroundings. Hundreds of responses, interactions, choices, consequences and promptings influence the formative mind of a child every day. With this in mind it is impossible to imagine a value free educational environment. The truth is that any school whether intending to or not will shape the values of a child. With this in mind, it is important for us as parents to choose carefully the educational environment for our children.

There are no perfect schools. At some time, even the best schools will offer challenges that require patience, communication and understanding. But during these times of doubt it is important to remember your ultimate goal for choosing a school. Your choice of school should be one that is trustworthy to embrace the cultural and spiritual values that you hold most dear as a family. I often hear stories of parents that chose to put their children in the hands of secular society with the promise of a value free environment, only to find out that it is impossible for a child to marinade in a worldly atmosphere and not adhere to some of those principles.

I have used the phrase "Trustworthy Education" to describe the environment we create at Bethel. I consider our school to be trustworthy, not because we customize our value system to each family (that would be impossible), but because our purpose is clear. We strive daily to help each child grow to their highest potential physically, intellectually, and spiritually. This guiding principle is present in all that we do. We don't claim to be something that we are not, and we embrace our Godly heritage. I have repeatedly said that if all we do as a school is give a child knowledge, we have missed our purpose. We believe that it is equally important for a child to grow in the love, fear and admonition of the Lord. The Bible says that this is the beginning of wisdom and we agree. If you have experienced the sting of secularism on your family I invite you to come and see what it means to receive a "Trustworthy Education".