Advice I Would Give a Young Man

This is a blog post by Herbert Cooper, the lead pastor of People's Church in Oklahoma City. The first time I read it I was moved by it's profound simplicity. I decided that this was something that I should remember forever and pass on to future generations. So here I am...passing it along.

Advice I Would Give a Young Man
by Herbert Cooper

1. Pursue Jesus with passion!
2. Don't take shortcuts, that's the long way to get to your goal.
3. Pay now so you can play later. If you play now, you'll pay later.
4. Find a mentor and let him speak into your life.
5. Make sure your priorities line up with your schedule. If God is first, family is second and work is third, it should be reflected in your schedule.
6. Whatever you are good at, develop it so you can become great at it. People don't pay for average.
7. Find a woman who is in love with Jesus and marry her. Don't settle!
8. Tithe. Give God the first 10% of your income and watch how he blesses your socks off.
9. Start giving over and above your tithe while you are young. Make this a habit, and it will pay off huge dividends in your life. You can't out-give God.
10. Develop a budget and stick to it. You can't spend more than you make and be financially free and invest heavily in the kingdom of God.
11. Don't follow the crowd, follow the word of God. The word of God will more than likely go against the crowd.
12. It takes years to build a reputation and seconds to lose it. Live a life above reproach.
13. Work Hard. Laziness will not produce success.
14. Make sure you have two or three really close friends who know you and love you for you.
15. Don't burn bridges because you never know when you need to cross one again.
16. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Take time to enjoy this gift called life.
    

The Advantage of Failure

In our society failure in any form is feared. Mediocrity is maligned as being unacceptable. And anonymity is insufferable by those who watch and wait. If you listen to main stream child experts they will tell you that a child's self esteem needs to be nurtured and boosted in order for them to be a productive and contributing member of society. They say that children must be empowered and that their feelings should be protected. As anything, there is some truth to these theories however practical wisdom reveals a very different reality.

Babies are fully self centered. The whole world revolves around their own needs. They give no thought to others and what is best for the people around them. In fact, they need to be selfish because they are 100% needy. As children grow, the maturing process reveals that it is not healthy to be selfish in all circumstances. It is often necessary to put our personal desires on hold or work through a painful process on our own. It is considered a mark of maturity to come to this conclusion and learn to live with it peacefully. Children will learn these realities in various ways. A child will learn patience as they sit quietly in church, they will learn selflessness as they sit on the bench waiting for their turn to play, they will learn self motivation while they watch others succeed as they struggle. It is not automatically bad for a child to fail a test, or sit on the bench, or get in a fight with friends, or just be average at something. These are all natural events in the process of character building. The train leaves the track when adults do not allow children to experience discomfort or suffer consequences for bad choices. In their attempt to protect the self esteem and empower their child, they are unwittingly crippling them with unrealistic expectations.

These painful realities of life are what allows a person to grow strong emotionally. It is a wise parent that will allow their child to struggle through decision making, that will allow them to fall and fail but pick them up and encourage them to try again, that will support them in their time on the bench with as much passion as when they get the opportunity to score the winning goal. The trial of life is how children learn to be strong and productive.

The Importance of Play

I was thinking today of the importance of hands on play in young children, and the academic benefits it represents later in life. There has been a noticeable trend in recent years of children lacking fine motor skills in pre-school and kindergarten classes. These motor skills are necessary in building a foundation for writing and penmanship as well as perseverance and problem solving.

In the not so recent past, children would spend hours playing with toys and dolls each day. These toys were often small and had many points of alignment and articulation that required the student to use cross body motor skills in order to solve a specific problem. It seems overly simple but the very act of dressing a Barbie doll is a significant cognitive challenge for a four year child. As you consider the process, it requires the child to use both hands which stimulates both sides of the brain and literally builds synapses (pathways) between the hemispheres. Reasoning skills are brought into play as they evaluate the alignment, positioning and orientation of the clothing to the body. This is the same reasoning the student uses to evaluate alignment, positioning and orientation of a pencil to a piece of paper. If you have ever dressed a Barbie you also will realize that the clothing at times gets hung up on the fingers of the doll or requires the child to re-articulate the doll in order to slide the clothing into place. This challenges the child to focus on a problem and persevere through the completion of the project. Finally, when the dressing is complete there is a satisfaction of a job well done and the immediate reward of being able to play with a fully dressed doll.

This is just one example of the academic and cognitive value of hands on play. These benefits cannot be accomplished in front of a TV or computer screen. It is the collective wisdom of generations and should be embraced by all parents.

Once a King...

Royalty is a different sort of authority than we are used to in America. In our country our leadership is elected by the people. Their power is limited and temporary and on a regular basis our public leaders subject themselves to the will of the people and their power is only retained by popular vote. The title of King is neither limited nor temporary. A king's power is granted to him by the authority of God and once the blood of royalty flows in your veins it can never be removed.

I like to think of that in regards to being a Bethel Life King. Many people come and go through our school for many reasons. But as far as I am concerned once you are a King, you will always be a King. I see children around town that have left BLS and when I see them I don't think "There goes a kid that used to go to Bethel." Instead I think "There goes a King!". Maybe it is the indelible spiritual imprint our school makes on the children who we serve. Maybe it is the confidence of character we instill or the discernment we inspire but one thing stands true, Kings are different than the common man and the difference is lasting.

Misconceptions of Private School

Since becoming the principal of a private Christian school I have heard many myths and misunderstandings concerning private schools in general. While I realize that many people try to justify making difficult decisions concerning their child's education I feel compelled to address some of the more obvious flawed thinking. Over the next few weeks I will be posting some articles concerning people's misconceptions of private school. My desire is not to attack or condemn. I respect a parents right to make a decision concerning their child's education without guilt. However I would be remiss if I didn't take an opportunity to dispel rumors so the decisions that are made are based on good information.

Misconception #1: "Private schools are filled with rich snobs."

I understand where a misconception such as this comes from because I know of many private schools that have this reputation. However something to remember is that all schools have a degree of cliquishness and exclusivity. After an inevitable adjustment period your child will develop friendships. As a parent, you desire those friendships to be the kind that are positive and will not influence your child in a harmful way. It is my experience at Bethel Life School (BLS) that the overall culture of the student body is one of success and positive choices. Not all students are trustworthy all the time, but the predominate attitude is one of acceptance and accountability. And you can be reassured that if your child experiences something negative it can and will be dealt with in a definitive manner, always reinforcing Godly choices. If you are a Christian trying to raise children who honor God it is important that the school you choose reflect your values.


Misconception #2: "A small school has fewer opportunities for students."

It is my observation that BLS has many more opportunities for students to be involved than any other school I have taught in. We have great competitive sports teams where all students have an opportunity to be involved. Our robotics team starts in fourth grade and offers non athletic opportunities for boys and girls. Our fine arts and music program is emerging with the potential to be one of the strongest in the city. A Clogging (dance) team will be starting during the 2009-2010 school year for boys and girls of any age. Inter mural sports teams of all types for all ages form on a regular basis. We offer the opportunity to take private piano and voice lessons during the school day and we are always looking for ways to expand our extra curricular offerings. In truth, BLS offers far more opportunities for a child than the average school and we do it in a positive Chirst-centered environment.

Misconception #3: "I can't afford it."

This is frequently the most significant obstacle people face when choosing whether of not to send their child to private school. While I understand financial hardships can make this an impossible roadblock it is important to remember that you get what you pay for. There is no such thing as a moral/value free environment. In a public school your child will be immersed in a secular environment that concertedly excludes Godly morality. In the best case your child will be placed in the classroom of a Christian teacher that can temper some of the humanistic influences your child will be exposed to. In the worst case, your child will spend seven hours each day being indoctrinated with morals and values that are nothing like your own. It is my position that an environment based on Godly, Christ-centered values is an investment in the emotional and spiritual development of your child. Our children are our greatest asset and as parents it is our duty to invest in them accordingly.

Make sure to check out my next post when I address the misconceptions of:

"The only benefit to private school is religious training."
"My middle school child would be better off getting established in a public school before high school"
"Teachers aren't as capable in private schools."